My three month appointment went well. I am clear still with low tumor markers, one was 3 and the other was 5 so I am very grateful. Right now I am looking outside my window to a beautiful cotton candy sunset. A storm just past and I still hear the thunder in the background. I love summer storms, they scare the crap out of me and I think they are fascinating at the same time.
My hubby has been diagnosed with divertilitis or something like that. I have to revamp his diet since he eats crap and that is about it. Tonight I tried to give him some beans but he had peaches and tomato soup instead. My daughter and I had bean dip with melted Rotel cheese dip over it. Sounds funky but it is good.
I am in a good spot in my life right now and I am soaking it up. My kitties are growing and becoming more playful and we now have a stray Husky/Shepard mix that visits daily. It is a pretty dog, solid yellow with Siberian eyes and fur. I worry about her b/c we live off a country highway, but it looks like she has been around.
Fourth of July is coming and I have so many invitations, but I want to just stay home and pause for the weekend. I know I won't though. I have been nonstop since I found out I was in remission. I think I am busier now than before cancer. I hope that is not a bad thing. I just notice now, I follow my feelings and if I don't want to do something, I don't and I won't feel guilty about it.
Hope everyone has a good holiday
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Qualude with a side of psycho
It is 4am and I am having horrible insomnia. It has been about a week now, last week it was b/c of graduation and my grad party I had Saturday, this week is b/c I have a stalker. I can put another thing that sucks if you have to go through it, having to constantly look over your shoulder. My anxiety is so high, that I have constant butterflies in my stomach, I am nauseated and I am having chest pains. Adding no sleep, my 3 month cancer appointment in 2 days should go smoothly.
Saturday the 14th, I graduated with honors from OU, finally. I walked across that stage with a sigh of relief more than sadness. My friends cried that I went to school with, but I think it was b/c they lived on campus for 4 years and OU was their family. I was looking forward to my party back home so I did the stage thing, posed for pictures and left.
Came home around 5pm to a backyard full of people. They were playing cornhole and sitting around talking. My best friend drove down with her friend and my neighbors had come up. I know I am not suppose to drink, but my dr. agreed one night would not do anything, so I drank a couple Bud Lights and relaxed.
My kids were suppose to have friends over, but when the parents, who I also invited, decided against it b/c their was alcohol there, none of them showed up. I understood, but at the same time, I'm in my 30's and being drunk, puking everywhere and acting stupid is kind of past me.
Around 10pm, my daughter's friend's older sister came with her fiance. My party was BYOB and they came to have fun. These two, my friend and husband ended up sitting around the campfire after everyone left and just told stories. Somehow we got on a subject of the dumbest things we did. I mentioned that one time in high school I ran around my house naked on a dare. Well, this girl and fiance stripped down and ran around my house with my husband trailing behind with his shorts off. When they came back down, the girl got back up and got TOTALLY naked and started running but tripped and fell on her face. Her fiance got naked picked her up ran around the house then headed down my hill for privacy. My friend, husband and I began talking of calling it a night when we heard this woman crying. My friend went down to check on her and came back to say that it looked like they were in the act. Out of nowhere, this girl started screaming at her fiance and took off running up the hill. He got up and jumped in his truck, which is when I ran to him and grabbed his keys and told him to chill out. this girl was crying hysterically over something and began babbling about her mom.
This is a grown woman, so I thought, we still lives at home with a curfew of 1am. this girls mom called non stop beginning at 1am. the same time she began flipping out. I am thinking she is scared shitless of her being she is still living at home and has to sneak out to see her fiance.
Knowing that, I as at the truck trying to talk this guy to spend the night in our tent b/c he was mad and had been drinking. He agreed until this girl came running up to the truck asking for a pop. She called her mom, who was coming to pick her up. this mom has a reputation of being a little off, so I of course was like, GREAT! this mom comes marching up my driveway and gets into my face and threatens to punch me. Turns out this girl is 18. Every otherword out of this mom's mouth is the F word. My friend and I stayed calm and told her mom to calm down, which was just fueling the fire. She then began labeling me a bad parent, was going to call the Sheriff's on me for contributing to a minor (which I didn't, remember it was BYOB), call Children's Services, etc. I walked away when I over heard her telling my husband that he should of been killed in Iraq. I quickly went an grabbed Steve and made him walk away and my friend kept telling them to get off the property. Now, I am like, I should of done this, done that, but when you are in your 30's, id'ing people does not come to mind at your house especially when they are bringing thier own crap.
the next day I checked my email and this mom left 4 nice messages for me with more threats and saying that myself and my friend ripped her daughter's clothes off and made her do acts in front of the kids and that I was a nasty person, etc, etc. I printed these off. then came the calls. this woman called me 8 times in a row the next day. I knew not to answer, and I didn't. She then called one last time around 11pm.
Today was gymnastics for the girls. Her daughter joined up last week and the mom has never gone to anything relating to this daughter, but she was there today of course. Knowing this I brought a small tape recorder. Her mom preceded again in front of children to call me a f'n b, that I was nasty and how I ruined her daughter's life. Oh, yeah, I guess this girl is pregnant too. She told my husband to get the hell out of there. We know not to respond and I think that is pissing her off more that she is not getting a reaction, but having her threats on tape, we took the girls out and went to the Sheriff's and filed a statement. It really pissed me off that I had to take my girls out of gymnastics when she was the one with the problem. What is done, is done, let's agree to disagree and move on.
Tonight my girls are having nightmares that someone is attacking me. My husband had a nightmare tonight that is very similar. this woman is driving us crazy and what I don't understand is she lets her daughter drink at the house and this girl goes to the bar to drink. I was analyzing her emails and she turns them around to make her the victim. I believe I am the scapegoat of her misery. Her daughter told us that night that her mom was suicidal. That is a red flag and makes sense as to why she is so nasty. I am not the first person to be in this situation with her and I know I won't be the last. It just sucks. We are thinking of moving. tomorrow we are getting a restraining order which I know will just fuel the fire, but I don't know what else to do. If her anger was just towards me, it would be one thing, but now the family is affected. Any suggestions?
I do really want a boring life. It seems something always has to be happening. But I guess it is suppose to make you stronger, right.
Saturday the 14th, I graduated with honors from OU, finally. I walked across that stage with a sigh of relief more than sadness. My friends cried that I went to school with, but I think it was b/c they lived on campus for 4 years and OU was their family. I was looking forward to my party back home so I did the stage thing, posed for pictures and left.
Came home around 5pm to a backyard full of people. They were playing cornhole and sitting around talking. My best friend drove down with her friend and my neighbors had come up. I know I am not suppose to drink, but my dr. agreed one night would not do anything, so I drank a couple Bud Lights and relaxed.
My kids were suppose to have friends over, but when the parents, who I also invited, decided against it b/c their was alcohol there, none of them showed up. I understood, but at the same time, I'm in my 30's and being drunk, puking everywhere and acting stupid is kind of past me.
Around 10pm, my daughter's friend's older sister came with her fiance. My party was BYOB and they came to have fun. These two, my friend and husband ended up sitting around the campfire after everyone left and just told stories. Somehow we got on a subject of the dumbest things we did. I mentioned that one time in high school I ran around my house naked on a dare. Well, this girl and fiance stripped down and ran around my house with my husband trailing behind with his shorts off. When they came back down, the girl got back up and got TOTALLY naked and started running but tripped and fell on her face. Her fiance got naked picked her up ran around the house then headed down my hill for privacy. My friend, husband and I began talking of calling it a night when we heard this woman crying. My friend went down to check on her and came back to say that it looked like they were in the act. Out of nowhere, this girl started screaming at her fiance and took off running up the hill. He got up and jumped in his truck, which is when I ran to him and grabbed his keys and told him to chill out. this girl was crying hysterically over something and began babbling about her mom.
This is a grown woman, so I thought, we still lives at home with a curfew of 1am. this girls mom called non stop beginning at 1am. the same time she began flipping out. I am thinking she is scared shitless of her being she is still living at home and has to sneak out to see her fiance.
Knowing that, I as at the truck trying to talk this guy to spend the night in our tent b/c he was mad and had been drinking. He agreed until this girl came running up to the truck asking for a pop. She called her mom, who was coming to pick her up. this mom has a reputation of being a little off, so I of course was like, GREAT! this mom comes marching up my driveway and gets into my face and threatens to punch me. Turns out this girl is 18. Every otherword out of this mom's mouth is the F word. My friend and I stayed calm and told her mom to calm down, which was just fueling the fire. She then began labeling me a bad parent, was going to call the Sheriff's on me for contributing to a minor (which I didn't, remember it was BYOB), call Children's Services, etc. I walked away when I over heard her telling my husband that he should of been killed in Iraq. I quickly went an grabbed Steve and made him walk away and my friend kept telling them to get off the property. Now, I am like, I should of done this, done that, but when you are in your 30's, id'ing people does not come to mind at your house especially when they are bringing thier own crap.
the next day I checked my email and this mom left 4 nice messages for me with more threats and saying that myself and my friend ripped her daughter's clothes off and made her do acts in front of the kids and that I was a nasty person, etc, etc. I printed these off. then came the calls. this woman called me 8 times in a row the next day. I knew not to answer, and I didn't. She then called one last time around 11pm.
Today was gymnastics for the girls. Her daughter joined up last week and the mom has never gone to anything relating to this daughter, but she was there today of course. Knowing this I brought a small tape recorder. Her mom preceded again in front of children to call me a f'n b, that I was nasty and how I ruined her daughter's life. Oh, yeah, I guess this girl is pregnant too. She told my husband to get the hell out of there. We know not to respond and I think that is pissing her off more that she is not getting a reaction, but having her threats on tape, we took the girls out and went to the Sheriff's and filed a statement. It really pissed me off that I had to take my girls out of gymnastics when she was the one with the problem. What is done, is done, let's agree to disagree and move on.
Tonight my girls are having nightmares that someone is attacking me. My husband had a nightmare tonight that is very similar. this woman is driving us crazy and what I don't understand is she lets her daughter drink at the house and this girl goes to the bar to drink. I was analyzing her emails and she turns them around to make her the victim. I believe I am the scapegoat of her misery. Her daughter told us that night that her mom was suicidal. That is a red flag and makes sense as to why she is so nasty. I am not the first person to be in this situation with her and I know I won't be the last. It just sucks. We are thinking of moving. tomorrow we are getting a restraining order which I know will just fuel the fire, but I don't know what else to do. If her anger was just towards me, it would be one thing, but now the family is affected. Any suggestions?
I do really want a boring life. It seems something always has to be happening. But I guess it is suppose to make you stronger, right.
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